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Here is a “Sad PHP Poem” Martin posted on php-general list.

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List: php-general
Subject: Re: [PHP] Sad PHP Poem
From: “Martin Alterisio”
Date: 2006-06-26 6:07:43
Message-ID: 52dbac0f0606252307q109d866fp59a86d35f099c43e () mail ! gmail ! com
2006/6/26, Ligaya Turmelle

:
>
> Martin Alterisio wrote:
> >
> >
> > A sad poem of an algorithm where solitude brought excessive use of cpu
> > cycles and memory allocation for redundant data (it copied over and over
> > again the same image till all memory was filled with it)
> >
> > ——————————
> >
> > $timeWaiting = 0;
> > while (!$you->near($me)) {
> > $me->thinkAbout($you);
> >
> > switch (true) {
> > case $timeWaiting < 5:
> > $me->wait($you);
> > break;
> >
> > case $timeWaiting < 10:
> > $me->worry();
> > break;
> >
> > case $timeWaiting < 20:
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > break;
> >
> > case $timeWaiting < 40:
> > $me->worry();
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > break;
> >
> > case $timeWaiting < 80:
> > $me->worry();
> > $me->cry();
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > break;
> >
> > case $timeWaiting < 160:
> > $me->worry();
> > $me->cry();
> > $me->drink();
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->thinkAbout($you);
> > $me->thinkAbout($you);
> > $me->cry();
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->lookFor($you);
> > $me->drink();
> > $me->drink();
> > break;
> >
> > default:
> > throw new CantLiveWithoutYou();
> > die(”alone”);
> > }
> >
> > $timeWaiting++;
> > }
> >
> > $me->happy = true;
> >
> > ——————————
> >
> > I hope you enjoyed the poem and the fact that I didn’t ask you to fix it
> or
> > find the bug in it =D
> >
> > PD: Run in your web server at your own risk.
> >
> >
> >
> See we do have a softer side. Outstanding!

I was a hard man till she threw me a ImNotSoSureAnymore exception =S

PD: I’m on fire today, maybe AJAX and the greek muses are behind my
inspiration

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